The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Monday, January 26, 2004
the girl in your heart will NEVER be like you
why is it that people always try to change what they know will be inevitably the same? especially when it comes to handling fragile creatures like humans. why can't they just accept people for who they are and not condemn their existence? live in harmony and practice tolerance? the one big group of people that all people, at one point of their time in their lives, can say are guilty as charged is: Parents. yes, the ones whom you are supposed to obey and kao-tao (bow down to... colliqual slang) to for the rest of your life. last night, was my turn for an episode. i don't want to go into details coz' we know how it goes down. ugly. and i swear to myself that i'll never cry in front of my mom or dad, for the sake of my own dignity. because that's all i have left to salvage. my pride. if i lose face in front of them, i admit defeat. and they will bask in their glory of making my life an ocean of trauma and hell. call me exaggerative (is there such a word??)... but i beg to differ. because, i'm being very literal here. if i could play some of the "lectures" my mom gives me on this site, you'd believe every word i type here.
too bad you can only swallow wholesale, whatever that you see typed on this site. and i can bet you that there will be millions out there who say i'm just craving attention. maybe i am. maybe i'm not. maybe i'm just being real. however way you see it, this is my story. my life. i lived it, not you.
of course, someone you dearly love always has to add more salt to your dripping wounds. my bf. i was playing with a lighter on the bus. not even with the flame. just flipping the lighter around in my lap. and he quietly hushed to me "don't play with that. it doesn't look nice. put it away." LOOK NICE? what?! i know what he was thinking. he has the image of me as a young school gal who's skipping last few lessons of the day to take a break from authority and smoke a few puffs or take a couple of whiffs of pot. i know how it looked like. even the older ladies in the bus gave me second glances as i boarded the bus with a lighter in hand. stereotypical? definitely. but i didn't expect my bf to be one of them. and then he bragged on about how he IS one of the few kids who want to live up to expectations of authority and get into the good books of everyone, from his parents to teachers to friends, even to the old man standing next to him at the traffic light. (well, that i'm guessing... but no surprise if that's true).
my best gal pal just broke off a relationship that lasted a year and five months. see, we have this pattern. when one of us is single, the other is too. vice versa, for when we are attached. even if one's single, and the other's attached... soon, one of us will catch up. or, when things turn bad, one of us lose out. the single one gets attached soon and then the balance is there. or the attached one breaks up and joins the single one in freedom-ville. so, since she's single... i'm guessing mine is gonna !POOF! soon... not that i'm wishing it. but i can sense it. it's looming. i can tell. it's been this way (i mean this pattern) for the past 5 years. it's either the pattern breaks. or I b.r.e.a.k.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.
