so apt
The Problems with GUYS:
If you TREAT him nicely, he says you are IN LOVE with him;
If you DON'T, he says you are PROUD.
If you DRESS nicely, he says you are trying to LURE him or other guys;
If you DON'T, he says you are from KAMPUNG (VILLAGE).
If you ARGUE with him, he says you are STUBBORN;
If you keep QUIET, he says you have no BRAINS.
If you are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's SMARTER THAN YOU, he is GREAT.
If you DON'T LOVE him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If you LOVE him, he will try to LEAVE you.
If you DON'T MAKE LOVE to him, he says you DON'T LOVE him;
If you DO, he says you are CHEAP.
If you tell him your PROBLEMS, he says you are TROUBLESOME;
If you DON'T, he says that you don't TRUST him.
If you SCOLD him, you are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS you, it is because he CARES for you.
If you BREAK your PROMISE, you cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.
If you SMOKE, you are a BAD girl;
If he SMOKES, he is a GENTLEMAN.
If YOU do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If HE does WELL, it's BRAINS.
If you HURT him, you are CRUEL;
If he HURTS you, you are too SENSITIVE & sooo hard to please!
***********
MEN.
1. What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.
2. What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in 15 seconds.
3. Why can't a man be both good looking and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.
4. Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.
5. Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.
6. Why are men like the letter Q?
Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.
7. What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
They go forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards, stop and eject.
8. Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
It is rarer.
9. Why do men prefer to marry virgins?
They cannot handle the criticism.
10. What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man?
A myth.
11. Why don't men go through menopause?
They never left puberty.
what a coincidence that carine's blog would have this posted up, just after what happened to Us last night. so apt. so precisely on time. i understand EXACTLY what she means. i can EMPATHISE with you my dearie. i'm exhausted after last night.
i just want to think about other things for now. no more arguing please. it's bad. very very bad.
i know You left those comments on my tagboard. and honestly, i'm not scared one bit. let's just forget this ordeal. this terrible ordeal. let's move on.
sombre
wee! finally after 8 days of working i managed to reach my quota of 14, and even exceeded by 1. heh, okay, that's not much extra, but still...
so i ended work early, at 3.30 p.m., and had a little time to spare. i thought of paying You a surprise visit. but You said You were busy. i cried a little in the train and bus ride home. how pathetic - again.
then i was hungry when i alighted at my stop, so i headed to 7-Eleven and bought a roast chicken sandwich and a cold can of Fruit Tree's Mango Juice with Nate de Coco. i like. :-)
after heating up the sandwich, i decided to find a place under the HDB flats nearby my place to go devour my late lunch. and i found a rather cosy place where i could have my own space, as well as look out to the passing cars. it was nice; having some quiet time to myself. something i haven't had in a LONG while.
after my mini meal, i just listened to my iPod mini and stared out into the sky and the road with all the passing cars. i felt the breeze... saw curious glances from passing strangers (which i couldn't care much for)... and saw the cloudy sky. although i had a feeling it was going to rain, i didn't really care. considering i didn't have my brolly with me.
i thought about all the burdens. at home. with work. with Us. with me.
and now as i type this, we just left another argument hanging. thanks to me, i admit.
sick.
petty.
brainless.
egotistical.
a born loser.
those are some of the things You called me. oh well.
in the words of Blink 182, "i've been here before a few times, and i'm quite aware we're dying." Monday, November 28, 2005
all jumbled up
well, i took this test from lynn's blog. thanks for providing the link dear! but i'm just dumbfounded by the result. me... have sexual drive? err... okay. i think.
"...What this means is that when your unconscious mind sees an opportunity to remind you of your sexual desires, it takes full advantage of it. Because of this, things that have very little sexual content or that seem sexually neutral to others, may register as sexually charged to you, at least on an unconscious level. Your unconscious mind recognizes the value of sexuality. The reason it may do so, is because of a deep-rooted fear of the opposite — living a life that is numb to sexual desire or is turned cold by it. You unconscious mind may be trying to avoid this sexual dullness, and so it reacts by swinging to the opposite extreme, strong sexual desire. By sending you these sexual messages on a regular basis, your unconscious makes sure you don't forget about sex. If you view your sexual desire with a positive attitude, you can welcome the vitality and strength sexual thoughts can bring into your life. This would allow you to honor the drive your unconscious has chosen to be an important focus for you. It is a message that you are very much alive, and have a great deal of passion to bring to life. Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Sexuality, there is much more to who you are at your core."
well, pushing that aside, i know i shouldn't let small things like this bug me or even get to me. but You said i could call You. but now, You're already asleep. i told You if You're too tired to talk to me, i'm fine with it. but please JUST MESSAGE ME that You are shagged out. i'll understand, i promise i will. it just hurts to wait up and look forward to hearing Your voice, when all i get is grumbling from You in the background when Your mom answers the phone. i did tell You i was going to call You a little late... but i guess my little late became too late. i miss You.
to be honest i wanted to pay You a surprise visit today because i missed You that much. but unfortunately i ended work too late.
now i'm tearing. how pathetic.
argue.
ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.
ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.
ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.
ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.
ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.ARGUE.
nothing else in between it seems. Sunday, November 27, 2005
what a day, what a week
it's been a long, draggy tiresome week. let alone today.
for the first time in my life, i bottled up so much anger and frustration for one single person, in a single moment, that i actually felt faint and could see blinding white flashes in front of me. thank God i didn't black out.
next week ain't going to be any better, that i can be pretty sure of. i want to tell that crummy place that i wish to quit. but i still have to work 7 days till i'm officially unemployed by them. so hopefully they can consider tomorrow as the first day. so that means 4 days of work next week, and 3 days the next week. phew. just typing it out makes me miserable and exhausted.
i looked to my calendar and i noticed that it's only slightly more than 2 weeks to my trip to Sweden. i WAS excited before this. but now, all i have is a gut feeling that something horrible will happen over there. i really don't know why. i'm just looking forward to going back to school.
on a happier note, rumour has it that i got a credit for my Researching Media module. i pray and pray that it's true! though only 2 of my friends, out of the whole class, got distinction (which i feel like slapping them for! nah.. just kidding. hee), i think i should be thankful that i got a credit. because that's the average grade i need for all my modules in my course if i want a guaranteed maximum exemption for all possible units, to enter into the degree course.
so here i go keeping my fingers crossed. Friday, November 25, 2005
"there's only a limit to what i can do"
there used to be a time when You would be willing to do anything for me. even when i cried, even if You were the cause, You would be the one who puts that smile instantly back on my face.
now it's just "don't cry."
i turn to You because i trust You to be my rock. my confidant. i know i want to be Yours.
when i'm working, i see couples meeting up and giving each other sweet smiles, quick pecks and warm hugs. i get instantly almost insanely jealous.
i remember our date at Marche at Suntec. it was cold and raining outside, as we sat by the window. but with You, i felt so cosy and warm. though the food was so-so, i somehow can't forget that particular date. it's my favourite date - though i don't know why.
good days. beautiful times.
i miss You. maybe that's why i treat You the way i do nowadays. i know it's a stupid excuse. and frankly speaking, i don't know how i'm (or rather we're) going to tolerate the distance apart when i'm away for 2 weeks in Sweden. it sounds like i'm SO uber dependent on You (yes, you guys reading this will think this way). and in truth, i am emotionally dependent on You, entirely. anything that affects You, affects me.
when i hear You over the phone so shagged from work and telling me that You're working on weekends too, it hurts. i won't lie to You. it upsets me that You are working so much, only to neglect Yourself. and there's nothing i can do to convince You to slow down, take a breather and get some 'quiet time' for Yourself.
SIGH.
SIGH.
SOB. Wednesday, November 23, 2005
being bored... still
You are... WAIT! - you're none of the Sins you're
an Angel! Perfect, or close enough, and annoyingly so! Did
you always behave so 'just right'. ARGHHH. You can annoy the
hell outta people with your attitude, but no doubt your church
is real happy with you. The positive side certainly outweighs the
negative, after all, you do chores, are smart, are cute, do
charity work. Least you know what a perfect saint you are. You
just make the restof us sinners vomit. Perhaps you could break the
rules once in a while, go wild - Eat an extra
cookie or something. However - congratulations on being the most pure,
of the entire human race.
?? Which Of The Seven Deadly Sins Are You ??
brought to you by
Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by
damn, i got to get a life, man. all these quizzes are addictive.. haha. but oh well, it doesn't cost anything, so who cares? the links are credited to my cousin, Nasser. thanks! (though i didn't ask you for them in the first place... heehee.)
on to other stuff, work HURTS. literally. feet, OUCH. but anything is better than rotting and being nagged at, at home. BY HERRRRR.
still just waiting and wondering when December 15th will come.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
---
i don't even know if i should get pissed. maybe even i'm too TIRED to get pissed.
it's not a matter of malas nak layan (lazy to acknowledge/entertain) okay? You say You're tired. then how about me? i'm practically drowning in fatigue.
mentally. physically. emotionally. i hardly know myself anymore. sometimes i don't even know why i'm doing certain things.
today, my supervisor kept saying i looked extremely drained and tired, and asked if i was okay. she's so sweet. i just said i'm fine. but my conscious knows better.
the only time my whole body is at peace is when i'm asleep. and that's when it's a total blank. because i don't have to think of all this shit. Sunday, November 20, 2005
much to think about
(with self-commentary in yellow)
Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward (straightforward only when i dare to i guess). You are an efficient problem solver (are you kidding me???) because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties (okay, i agree with that part. hee.).
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You are a true romantic (YES). When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true (see sayang? i would do anything for You).
Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person (and i think someone knows who he is ^_^).
The seriousness of your love: You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love (i have no comment. he knows what i mean).
Your views on education: Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can (so true).
The right job for you: You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life (uh-huhhhh).
How do you view success: You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous (sigh, the pessimist i am).
What are you most afraid of: You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear (heyyy, i think you got it mixed up dude!).
Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence (CONFIDENT? me? yea right.). You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean (PMS is the most susceptible to this i presume, hmm?). You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
hmm... i took this quiz from ron dearie's blog. thanks for the link! i agree with the romance part, at least. for the success and true self... err. i highly doubt so. blekk!
it couldn't have been better
a big THANK YOU to anyone who made yesterday much more fun. if it weren't for you guys coming, jeez, i don't know. the whole thing wouldn't been a total bore.
yes, yes... and i'm coming to your part.
thanks for coming over dear. i really appreciate it. though i know it was a little nerve wrecking for You meeting my grandma, aunt AND uncle all at the same time. and thank You for the flowers. they're beautiful. hee, just like You. i wish You could've stayed on longer... i totally refused to let You go. You were looking so smart and handsome in your attire... i could've turned to jell-o. i just wish i can see You again very soon. i don't know when, but please let it be soon.
nora, i know you probably won't read this, but haha... you looked HOTT in your red jacket and all! your heels just killed with its looks! awesome... ^_^ and thanks for coming... i really miss hanging out with you and deen. hope it happens again soon.
sweden. arrgh. come already.
impatient bitch.
hypocritical asshole.
sharp-tongued witch.
ungrateful attention-seeker.
nonsensical paranoid overly dramatic bossy piece of...
and that's only an understatement.
what the FUCK is wrong? Friday, November 18, 2005
heyyy...
some girls purposely ignore, grunt, whine and even be super bitchy and sarcastic when they really like a boy. am i right girls? i think they can back me up on this one.
it's called missing their guys. or just vying for their attention.
i just wish SOME guys (or guy) would know this by heart. it's how the female species tries to get the opposite sex's attention, and hopefully (as we cross our fingers) get him attracted.
but of course, most of the time, we just get a cold shoulder, a scolding or a huge argument following our attempts, in return.
it's not that we hate you or love to bicker with you. or are even "attitudinal" (wow, what sort of words do i come up with???) with you. we just want you to acknowledge, pamper and just tolerate our tiny, hopefully discrete signals that we care about you, even if it's in the most annoying and rude way. hee.
boo to guys. boo i say. Wednesday, November 16, 2005
shick
i'm feeling uggh. oh well, no new news, other than that. other than i feel so shagged every single day. it's supposed to be my holidays, but i haven't had the privilege or liberty of enjoying it since it started 1 and a half months ago. shit. what crap shit is this? shit after shit after shit.
talking about shit, my work is shit too. talent scouting is such a scammish job. but i'm quitting around next week or the week after next. something like that. thank God.
i watched the exorcism of emily rose yesterday. i must say, in comparison with the exorcist, it focuses so much on the case of the people vs. Father Moore, that you actually begin to sympathise with emily. with the exorcist, it's just plain freaking you out. have you ever seen someone possessed? i have. and it IS freaky shit.
somehow now i'm into horror movies that i borrowed SAW 2 from my boy, and The Amityville Horror from VideoEzy. it's such a cheap thrill, but i'm so bored with nothing interesting to watch at home.
i totally forgot how yummy and sweet cream caramel tastes like. now i remember so well. yummmmm... Sunday, November 13, 2005
impatient
Minnie Mouse
'>http://quizilla.com/users/Kereokacola/quizzes/Which%20DISNEY%20character%20are%20you%20most%20like?/"> Which DISNEY character are you most like?
minnie mouse? i'm not that SISSY am i? blekk! ewww... personally, i don't really like her character on the telly.
oh well... 1 more month to fly off to Sweden. can't wait to be the camera woman behind our new handy cam from JVC. the quality's pretty crisp, so that's good. i just want to be on the ski slopes with my brothers already!
1 more month to tolerate this shit.
lame me.
if you guys out there know me well enough, you pretty much know i can be capable of being extremely lame. so naturally, i find guys who can hold a good conversation and a good sense of humour the most attractive. obviously, i have to change that "appeal" because SOMEBODY can't seem to tolerate my lameness anymore.
and honestly it hurts like shit.
to the point of like, "but that's what i'm all about. that's what makes me love someone even more, that he can laugh with me, not AT me." i'm really confused.
sigh. and being told off for trying to be funny, is so ouch. especially after a whole week of being told off by her already. all i want is to bring some light humour and sarcasm to the conversation.
humour may, by truth or assessment, be the best medicine. but it's also, by my word and experience, the best way to fall in love. all over again and again. Thursday, November 10, 2005
phew!
working literally on my feet for 3 hours, damn hurts. talent scouting seems easy as it sounds. and that's where it stops. then, there's the rejections and the pushy, mocking supervisor there to pressurise you. jeez. -_-
thank God i'm only doing this for a month. then it's off to Sweden for skiiing, Christmas AND New Year's. yay! ^_^
can't wait. to see Youuuu. after all this time. arguing. bickering. fighting. i'm just grinning. :-D Wednesday, November 09, 2005
what's happened?
what's happened to us, my dear?
it's the breaking away i fear.
and in all this restlessness,
it's your hold that i long in the darkness.
whatever we said that night,
we both know it's just another fight,
please don't take anything to heart,
i can't think of falling apart.
i know i've been cold,
odd, and it's become old,
but i'm still here,
for every smile and every tear.
i don't want this to drag on,
as i sit here, a few hours to dawn,
wishing i could nuzzle your neck,
i want You here, plus a lasting peck.
can we please stop the fighting, sayang? i just want to revive what's been lost and start afresh. i won't pretend it's never happened, but let's use it to make things better.
i think we both know how much we need each other. Sunday, November 06, 2005
bored. as you can tell.
| Your Hidden Talent |
 |
well, what do you think? i doubt the whole world suffers just because i am. and i highly doubt people are able to empathise with me. usually it's just me being petty. haha. but of course who wouldn't love to control others with just feeling a tad sad? hee. *evil grin*
| Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating |
 |
heh. true or not... i really don't know. but it's fun to figure what kind of person you could possibly be, with all these quick gimmicks.
| You are a Great Girlfriend |
 |
sayang, do YOU see this? blekk! >.<
Friday, November 04, 2005
hmm... let's see. what can i say about this photo? there are two chubby people in it. "it runs in the family", that's what HE says. haha. my cousin is so funny. ^_^ now you know how to take self-portraits right? so i'm guessing you're going to be posing in front of your phone all the time now! but yes, i do agree with you, i find this picture really cute... crazy and retarded, but cute!
okay, this looks a bit off because the wind was blowing pretty nicely through the window. but i think my sister looks sooo pretty here, don't you? stupid narcissistic Nasser (yes, the cousin in the photo) kept on wanting to re-take photos because he insisted he looked so fat... pose wasn't nice... or whatever excuse he could think of. -_-
but still i love him! so funny, cute and okay... at least he's narcissistic with some form of control. blekk! don't worry kuzzie... you'll still be my fave. ^_^ hee.
looking back... on just a few hours ago
okay, i know i should be sleeping. after a whole day of house visiting, i am shagged. definitely. but as usual, my mind is wondering around to everything. to us, to how hari raya was, to the week or even days ahead.
especially to us. recently, my mind has been filled with nothing but us. us, us, us.
what's happening to us? i feel so detached from You. i feel like i hardly know You. like you are someone from a far, distant past. and the all-familiar voice over the phone is just a "hello" conversation to see how i'm doing in my life now. or how far along i am in my life. where has the fuzziness and warmth gone? i'm not angry anymore; i'm just sad and disappointed with how things have turned out. maybe that's why i hardly have anything to say to You. because i really don't even know where to start.
do i still love You? i still feel it there, somewhere in my heart. i know i do.
but is that enough to save us from disappearing? i have Faith that it is.
do i want us to still exist? very much so. very, very much so. Thursday, November 03, 2005
hari raya and our 7th month
well, it's that time of the year again where i get the chance to binge till i gain about 2 kgs worth of junk food in a day, and no one will stop me. because we're all entitled to do so. ^_^
then there's also the time of the month where it's supposed to be our special day. but look at how it turned out. harsh words exchanged again, and You hanging up on me. oh well. if You didn't want to believe me when i said i had to go, that's Your problem.
zakiah, i don't know if you'll get to read this but... thanks for having that short chat with me. i really appreciate it. i guess i just have to re-evaluate the whole situation... and see it from the long-term perspective. i love the fact that i can still talk to you about such things, even though we hardly meet... but oh, we must, very soon okay? ^_^
and though i don't see you leave any tags on my board, i know you sometimes read this, Diyana. i heard your comments, and i'm not mad at you or anything. i know it looks like this is destroying me, and maybe in some ways, it really does feel like it. but i'll try and talk things out. i know it seems a little bit out of place for me, but i guess, it's more than just looking good, eh? but thanks dear. i really like the fact that you still care, though i don't see you. maybe next time leave more tags? i'd like to see a happy earthworm on my board. ^_^
for all the not-so-happy moments, i'm very grateful i still have people who can remind me of keeping Faith. to those of you, Thank You. from the bottom of my heart.
and in the spirit of hari raya, i'm sorry to anyone i've offended in the past year. i hope we can put the past behind us, and continue sharing good moments and bad. but always keeping in mind that our belief in one another will be much stronger than the differences we have.
