In a Zone
ya, ya. don't shoot me just because i haven't been super-duperly been conscientious in updating my blog. i was away for a geography-history camp last week from wednesday till friday. i was SO fun... but really tiring. we walked around quite a bit (okay, quite alot!) and knowing the basic fanfares of camps; you can never get to sleep earlier than 4 AM. haha.. but it was so worth it... we crapped until about 3 in the morn and had to get up at 6. whoa.. that was tough. then the 2nd night, i slept at 5 AM.. got up at 8. then we went to Seoul Garden to pig out on REAL food, after what seemed like bland food for the camp. :-P
hey... check this out!
You are going to Marry Josh Hartnett. He is really
shy, but don't let that fool you. He is really
outgoing and sweet with those he loves and will
be loyal to them for the rest of his life.
Congrats!!
Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (now 12 (i just added more, and still more to come!)results that have pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla
cool eh? ;-) i did tell my guy friend before in secondary school that if i had to choose 1 person to sleep with, it's be Josh. coincidence? i don't know... but i totally fell in love with those eyes after watching Pearl Harbor. *melt, drools...*
things are okay at school i guess, but now we have a new timetable for this 2nd term and it has blocks of 2 periods and 3 periods for Malay on tuesdays! that's like 1 and a half hours for every subject.... *CHOKES & DIES*... i'm being a lil' too melodramatic about stuff today ain't i? haha... remember the guy who claimed he fancies me, but just led me on? okay... to keep describing him is getting tiring, so i'll just say his name (since i consider it 'case closed'). his name's Fazal. so, okay, Fazal's birthday was on Sunday. i sms-ed him a belated birthday greeting yesterday and he seemed genuinely grateful. but i sense that he knows that i know what my friend told me. (you know, the guy who introduced Fazal to me in the 1st place. his name is Miq, for short.) because today, i caught Fazal's eye... but he quickly averted his gaze downwards. he's never done that, so i can tell. well, i'm not letting him get away too easily with his lil' game. i'm going to tease him a lil'... and probe whatever fact or detail i can find. use it against him or something.
we'll see how it goes down. in the mean time, i was analysing why i even bothered to go with my bf at that time (now my ex of course). and i realised it. it was because he had a 'clean' record: no previous gfs, so what harm could he do at most? and during the 1st 8 months i got to know him, he didn't show any major flaw or personality crisis. he was perfect to me, as a person. plus he was persistent on wooing me, showing me that he was genuinely interested. that is why i fell into the mistake that should never have happened. and now, we're getting back on good terms... and i can smell his scent after i shower. on my towel, and myself. Monday, March 15, 2004
€ÂÂŒ(0x8a68f98)
What type of Depression do you have? (MANY different outcomes)
brought to you by Quizilla
what more is there to say? 1 week march hols are here, but they are not even proper hols. i got to go back for econs and geog remedials today and tomorrow. today's econs remedial lasted 4 and a half hours... can u FUCKING believe it? who in the hell would be able to pay attention to such a boring, dense subject for more than 2 hours straight. jeez. the only perk is geography camp, from wed - fri. wee~. at least i'll be sleeping with the gals, and we're going to try some magick. too excited.
my ankle is still in a brace, not my knee though, coz' that's just too uncomfy. but it damn hurts and is still throbbing right now. hmmm... my best gal pal managed to get an excuse to leave her GP camp early, so that means we're going to pierce our ear together tomorrow. made a pact, she goes first. you know piercing on the upper part of the ear where the cartilage bone is. yup, my mom forbids it, but she's been selling jewellery at this bazaar until this sunday and finishes at 9 PM. so there's less chance for me to bump into her. furthermore, i have camp starting on wednesday morn, so double luck. :-D
i told my guy friend (who introduced that guy who's interested in me, to me) that i want him to just forget the whole 'gameplan' and i'm tired of being led on. so why do i still light up when my admirer walks past, and gives me a grin (mind you, not just any smile: a grin). why is he so cold? so distant, if he's the one who claims that he's interested in me? i can't figure guys out. seriously. they FUCKIN' stink. Monday, March 08, 2004
it's been some time...
i know it's been about a little over a week since i last came here. but then, who's condemned for leaving their blog empty and un-updated for months at a go, right? at least i didn't abandon this place for good. shame on those who do. or did. SIGH. this is the last week before my March 'hols' start. i say 'hols' because we still got to go back to school. on tuesday, for geography remedial. then from wednesday till friday, i got a geography camp that requires us to sleep overnight in school. me and my wicca fanatic friends plan to create a lil' magick of our own... hehe. can't wait!!
on a more sour note, remember the guy that 'likes' me? well, i'm sensing that he's not really sincere in his intentions. he asks for my number but it feels like i'm the one who always has to take the initiative to SMS him or start a conversation with him on the phone. and some nudging feeling tells me i'm in deeper shit than i think i am. my friend who introduced this guy to me just asked me to the year end graduation night as his date. i mean, he knows that i'm currently keeping in contact with this guy, (who is his close buddy) and he has the cheek to ask me to be his date behind his friend's back? does his friend know about this? it may seem confusing to you, but i feel like i'm in some sort of bet between them. because my friend (who asked me to be his date) said that if no one agreed to go with him to the graduation night, he and his gal pal would go together as dates. wouldn't that mean i'm a lamp post in this? a mere substitute, option? i was SO pissed when i pieced together the whole picture... GRRR!!!!
and the guy who likes me is claimed to be 'not-friendly-enough' towards the Arts gals (he's taking the Science course). is this his way of redeeming himself and proving to his friends that he CAN get to know an Arts gal? and i just happen to be so naive and gullible looking, huh? well, they played up the wrong bitch. it's no longer about who WANTS to get with who; it's about who CAN get with who. i'm just waiting to gather enough proof, then blast the hell out of my friend. in the mean time, i'm not acknowledging him. and the guy who likes me, i'm not going to start the SMSes or conversations. to hell with him too. and i trusted him. for Pete's sake. this just goes to prove one thing: Guys will never be able to be trusted, liked, Loved. in my books at least.
even if it's not a game or bet or even to prove a point, they sure know how to torture a girl who's just broken up less than a month ago. i'm trying my very hardest here to pick up the pieces, and be strong for myself. and there they are, backstabbing each other as friends, being malicious by sneaking me a date, and stating that they want to know me, and when they get the chance, they treat me like dirt and leave me hanging. is this a bad year for socialising with guys for me or what? i think it very much is. :-( not that it's a bad thing, but it's extremely disappointing.
well, on a another climatic side, it's my sister's 12th birthday this wednesday. aww... she's growing up so fast. but she celebrated it with a party at the ice-skating rink yesterday. i was like the Big Sister, haha! but i never realised it would be so fun taking care of at least 14 11 year olds simultaneously... hee~. however, it's been some time since i skated, so today in school, i was limping the whole day. :-P now i'm wearing an ankle brace... going to wear sandals tomorrow.
i feel kind of depressed now, since i realise that people are not very nice anymore. boo-hoo. it sounds child-like, maybe childish. but i think it's the most betraying thing to realise only after some time, that the friends that you trusted and actually believed in, are frauds, fakes. LIARS. that's damn OUCH. and i've felt that so many times, yet it feels like the first time, every time.
