birthday babe :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY NORA!
(though i know you're not going to read this. :-P)
it's finally YOUR turn to turn 2-0! heehee.
i know you're in thailand now. gosh, i'm jealous. hope you bring me back a lil' something. haha.
things haven't been going your way lately, but remember i'm always here for you babe. enjoy your trip okay? party on babe!
miss ya! muacks!
words to ponder
hmm. hmm. hmm.
i was browsing through a couple of friend's blogs and i was taken in awe of mel's. her pictures are awesome. self-portraits at its best, i must say. they're not amateur-ish at all, dear. shut up!
wish i had such a gorgeous body to capture through the eyes of the lens.
anyways, what also struck me was her single-lined entry of "say yes to sex. no to commitment".
ever done something extremely bad and told close friends? only difference is that, when you do tell, they don't seem to think it's THAT bad, though it's something absolutely sinful (they just tell you to watch out for yourself, at best). but then, a long forgotten friend rings you up and you share your life stories thus far. suddenly you spill about your wrong doing, and they are immediately taken aback, shocked in awe and tell you that their perception of you is changed forever. the deep disappointment in their voices suddenly make you realise how sinful it was.
after all the close-approvals from people around you, this one person cares enough to shed some sincere remorse over your sin.
that's when you know how much they mean to you. how much they care. and how stupid you were to have committed it. then depression settles in. and you wish to repent, but you know it's irreversible. because. you. just. can't.
whether this is just a hypothetical situation or not, that is not the issue. the thing is, sometimes we really have to figure things out hard before committing to it. before someone points out the idiotic decision we made. and we can only regret, because what's done is done. and some things just can't be undone or taken back.
just think. Saturday, April 22, 2006
why, oh why?
why must i be so unlucky to be struck with an abscess with the amount of pain like a knife and swelling like a tumour?
why must i be allergic to the painkillers i got for my "tiny-mini-minor" surgery for that dumb abscess, and get swollen eyes in front of my honey?
why do i have to have an ulcer the size of a ten-cent coin for over a week, and it's not healing at all, and in fact BLEEDS?
why must i miss You, till i tear up when i tell You i miss You over the phone? Friday, April 21, 2006
a formal apology
yes sayang.
I'M SORRY. sorry about what i said. i take it back. but i won't deny how i felt. let's just take it as a lesson learnt and move on from there ok?
i love You with every part of me.
i love You with every beat, every pulse.
and nothing can change that, even when everything's gone.
i still have You.
I'M SORRY. Wednesday, April 19, 2006
accepting hard facts
sometimes in life, we have to accept things we don't wish to.
like death. separation. bias. hate. prejudice.
and in other cases, we have to accept our roles/place in life. or in other people's lives.
we may rank high, or low in someone's eyes. but that's a fact we sometimes have to accept. even though we've tried our darndest best to change their perception of us, or even voiced out our feeling of insignificance.
in my case, i know now i have to learn to enjoy the benefits of 3rd class in Your world. i know Your priorities and Your love. i cannot compare to the rest.
it's tough, but i will learn to not depend on You so much, and learn that sometimes i can't get Your attention all the time.
i'm so sorry baby. sigh. the pain. ouch. Saturday, April 15, 2006
when you realise how incapable you are
you know how sometimes you do things, not because you want to, but because you want to prove some people otherwise, or even do it so that people will get off your back?
that's what my licence means to me. nothing else.
and once again, i'm faced with the great misery of failing. for the sake of myself and the people around me. i feel like a complete failure.
the last time i felt close to this feeling, was during my A-Levels results. failed my TP AGAIN?
this time, the problem was failure to check safety. and of course, the immediate failure of not stopping at stop-line. i'm so smart. and i didn't even realise that spot has a 'STOP' sign.
oh wells, as my sarcastic, annoying, so-not-helping and B****** of a ****** put it, "well, guess we have no choice but to spend more money!"
and my cousin can say this to me, as comfort, "again ah? what did you do?"
thanks guys. i REALLY appreciate it.
i held back my tears when the tester passed me the checklist, and dashed out of the building. once out, i called my darling and burst into tears. all the way home. in the bus. in public. i didn't care.
and something inside me wants to burst out in tears again. i can't help it. i don't know why. i just feel so useless. so stupid. so idiotic. so pathetic. so incapable. so redundant. just damn bloody fucking screwed up.
1 immediate failure and 24 demerit points. what do you call that for a second attempt?
even the tester said "sorry". yes, sorry that i'm so retarded. Thursday, April 13, 2006
maybe tomorrow
well, i decided to change the song on my blog for two reasons.
one, because the old one was obviously getting, well, OLD.
two, because i love the song in the way it was used right at the end of 'crash'.
it's stereophonics' "maybe tomorrow", by the way.
two words. maybe tomorrow. holds alot of promise, eh?
but you never do know if it's going to be a better or worse day tomorrow.
you just have to hope. and have faith.
i guess that's what some of us find beautiful about life.
you never know what's waiting for you around the corner.
we can only plan and map out what we aim to fulfill at the end of the day, let alone, in our lives.
but God has his mighty ways to show us what He has planned for us.
why am i speaking of such things at this point in time?
no idea.
all i know is that, maybe tomorrow, i will realise how far You will go for me.
and how much You're willing to put in to save Us. Saturday, April 08, 2006
i need your help.
hey guys. i've come to a junction where i need a little assistance in deciding. since my boy has upgraded his bike, we've decided to upgrade our helmets to full-face ones, and i need some sort of consensus/vote on which design is the nicest. i'm stuck between the 3rd and 4th one. let me know what you think, ya?
Silver with Golden Butterflies
Blue with Blue Butterflies
Dark Gold with Blue & Golden Butterflies
Silver with Colourful Butterflies & Flowers
Silverish Gold with Blue Butterfliesbtw, the helmets are from SHARK, and are found in the Butterfly range. reminds me of Nokia's L'Amore Collection. :-P
anyways, my vote goes to the 4th one. but let me know if you think otherwise okay?
thanks. :)
long overdue
i know i promised to show some people the pics taken at the Dinner & Dance. so here they are, after what seems like eons. :)
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how do they look? i prefer the professionally taken ones, personally. the rest are done by amateurs, or maybe even totally unskilled wannabe photographers. heh.
no offense to anyone, including You, honey. ^_^ Tuesday, April 04, 2006
a blissful monday
yesterday we celebrated our 1st year. although it was already one day past, but that's not the point.
it was perfect, except for the fact that we got stuck at the bus stop outside temasek polytechnic for over an hour, due to the horrendous downpour.
but i must say, it's a change of scenery. twisted way of enjoying nature's little surprises, but a change nonetheless. stuck in one place for over an hour, with nothing to do, enabled me to take a good look at the man i love.
yes, in a weird, twisted way again. but a perspective nonetheless.
i enjoyed Your company in a very different light. humourous. light. funny. content. just everything that makes my heart soar with joy and appreciation for what i have.
and that's the feeling i got after being able to swallow the fact that i've been with You for a year. yes, only a year. but a year full of drama, happiness, heartache and elation.
i wouldn't trade it with anything. or spend it with anyone else.
just You and only You. Sunday, April 02, 2006
happy 1st year.
it's our big numero uno. number one.
and i wanted it to be extra special. and i fucked up. i got jealous, envious, insecure and overly emotional all at the last minute. literally.
i can't believe i had my one chance to do things right. and i fucked straight up. this is one thing i won't forgive myself for. i swear it.
i'm so sorry, baby. please forgive me.
i know i have to appreciate all the effort You've put in. but it's just that sometimes i feel 2nd best. and i only want to be #1 in Your world. no less.
am i selfish to want that much attention from You?
i'm such an arse sometimes. wait, most of the time.
oh, if only i had a 2nd chance.
i feel like smashing my head against the wall. till it bleeds, and i pass out. Saturday, April 01, 2006
a thought.
Before marriage : I die for you.
After marriage : You die, up to you.
Much later : You die, I help you!
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Before marriage : You go anywhere... I follow you.
After marriage : You go anywhere... up to you.
Much later : You go anywhere... better still.
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After marriage : You go anywhere... up to you.
Much later : You go anywhere... better still.
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Before wedding : You are my heart, you are my love.
After wedding : You get on my nerves.
-
After wedding : You get on my nerves.
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Before wedding : You are sweet and kind just like Cinderella.
After wedding : You are worse than Godzilla.
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After wedding : You are worse than Godzilla.
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Before wedding : Roses are red, violets are blue.
Like it or not, I'm stuck with you.
After wedding : Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you.
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Like it or not, I'm stuck with you.
After wedding : Roses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue you.
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Before wedding : Every makan he brings you to Shangri-La.
After wedding : You want to go, he says you wait lah.
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After wedding : You want to go, he says you wait lah.
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Before wedding : Weekends at Cameron, Genting and Fraser's Hill.
After wedding : Furthest you go is Bukit Timah Hill.
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After wedding : Furthest you go is Bukit Timah Hill.
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Before wedding : He was your ideal.
After wedding : He becomes your ordeal.
After wedding : He becomes your ordeal.
taken from Carine's blog. i AGREE.
so sad. it is. so sad.
please don't let that happen.
