i can't say nothing but...
i know you don't want to see me, but the least you could do, is be there for me.
Monday, January 29, 2007lonely february
i guess with all good times, bad times will consequently follow. trail by trail.
this february will be a lonely one for me. baby's all work, work, WORK. exams for me. Valentine's is not much to jubilate about. my birthday is more like a dreaded moment - i don't even want to know it exists. and the rest of the days are filled with emptiness, with only me filling in the vacuum spaces.
i guess with all good times, bad times will consequently follow. trail by trail.
this february will be a lonely one for me. baby's all work, work, WORK. exams for me. Valentine's is not much to jubilate about. my birthday is more like a dreaded moment - i don't even want to know it exists. and the rest of the days are filled with emptiness, with only me filling in the vacuum spaces.
well, there'll be no one to share my cuddles, that's for sure. can you imagine me cuddling up to ME? february is supposed to be my favourite month. but horribly enough, i can't wait for march to come. sheesh.
come on, marissa. just pull the trigger.
i know you want to.
euphoria!
a few hours ago, (about 3 hours to be exact) i came home from one hell of a fucking awesome time with HOOBASTANK!
plus, the fact that my throat's hoarse from all that screaming, means i definitely had a good time!
i heard from others that MUSE was sheer brilliance. but i can safely say so were my hooba babies!
doug was HOTT as usual, and his vocals were music on their own. dan my dear boy, why'd you wear a cap? we need to see your pretty face! :D
well, it's super late now. and i can feel myself dozing off. but before that, i'll just end off with an awesome stage picture to leave you guys breathless. ^_^
as usual, HOOBASTANK ROCKS!
Thursday, January 25, 2007500th post
yippee for me! this is officially my 500th post. :) i never really noticed i wrote so much, and i can't wait till i reach my first thousand.
well, there's nothing to celebrate here, but some stuff that i find interestingly annoying. firstly, with the "discovery" (yes, i say it in mockery because they make it sound sooo new-age) of trans fat, every where i turn, i see "low fat", "no sugar" or "no cholesterol". and i hear my family going "you can't eat that, too much fat" or "too oily" or "not good for you" or "cannot eat that anymore".
you know what i suggest? turn vegan and cook all our food by steaming it. now won't that just solve all our problems? and for extra vitamins, i'm sure there are millions of pills we could pop into our system, to kick start our day! >.<
i cannot stand all the obsessing over fat, oil, sugar, trans fat, blah, blah and shit.
MODERATION. ever heard of that?
you don't see me fussing about all this unnecessary details when it's meal time. and i'm happy with how i am (well, not entirely, but you get the jist that i don't think i'm godzilla or something).
if you know you've been eating WAY too much of something unhealthy, cut down. cravings will be cravings, you can't help them. treat yourself to those types of food, once in awhile.
the thing that annoys me to my wits' end, is that the people who are fussing over all this health issues, are the ones who HAVE BEEN EATING LESS AND HEALTH CONSCIOUSLY ALREADY, TO BEGIN WITH. now with all the hype of even more possible fat elsewhere, they think they should cut it out of their diet, entirely.
it's JUST food. live a little people. unless you find yourself stuffing the orifice in your face with food every hour or with food that's laden with carbs, oil and fat, then you have nothing to worry.
for example, i strictly stick to 3 meals a day. i've even taken the extra effort to eat less during each meal. in between meals, IF i'm dying to chew on something, i take a fruit. the only dessert i have is after dinner. that's it. simple enough?
and with all that, i've managed to maintain my weight for a couple of years already. see? i'm fine. :D
and to those who tell me i'm fat, get a life. go see people who are TRULY fat. obviously you'd just LOVE to see me anorexic (and trust me, there was once i was on my way down that road). fuck you.
---
on another, VERY different note, i was browsing through really old photo albums with pictures of my biological dad in them.
a pang of sadness that i haven't felt in a long time, just whacked me.
then, it hit me: i have to see him. Wednesday, January 24, 2007
the real ugly people
*NOTE: this is going to be a rather LONG post, so bear with me. if you find you do not have the patience or time once you've read this notice, i don't blame you for not carrying on. :D (but it'd be nice if you could!)
we all hear about annoying people, specifically, neighbours who annoy us to our wits end.
it's like they're fatefully placed to live next to us as punishment or something, to make our lives, well, LITERALLY, a living hell.
a few months back, this small family consisiting of a filipino lady and a british man, with a baby, moved into our block. their unit is below ours.
we never had any real problems with our neighbours at all. in fact, the family who lives just adjacent to this new family are pretty good friends of ours, to say the least.
so we didn't expect anything extraordinary or anything short of a nuisance from this new family.
then the first few days after they moved in, they played their big, plasma screen television set at an incredulous level, that the entire block could hear MTV was on.
what's more, they left they're door and front gate open so the world would be tempted to run into their house with a gun and shoot the stereo so that it can fucking shut up.
maybe this is not new to alot of us. but it's an old-age problem that's never a pretty situation to tolerate.
then, a few weeks after they got comfortable aurally harrassing their neighbours, they conveniently dumped their barbeque grill in our parking lot, so my mom couldn't park. so she grabbed a camera from our house, and started snapping pictures of their ignorance and sheer display of rudeness, so that she could show it to the condominium council, who would hopefully take action. the filipino lady came home, and she saw my mom snapping away.
let's get this straight: my mom wants to stop this mindless behaviour, and that family, is in the WRONG. so what does this filipino lady do? she starts telling off my mother with vulgarities and say that she has no right to do anything with that bloody grill. in fact, they said it isn't their fault, because their friends were the ones who dropped the grill off and they just dumped it anywhere they liked, obviously.
as a RESPONSIBLE friend, if you knew someone was dropping something off at your place, and it's bulky, wouldn't you tell them WHERE to put it, so you won't obstruct other people's parking lots or spaces? and that's not the best part, that pompous lady added that she was about to ask the (mind you) old, malay cleaner to bring the grill round the back to her garden.
excuse me, DON'T YOU HAVE AN ABLE-BODIED HUSBAND WHO IS MUCH MORE CAPABLE OF HANDLING SUCH HEAVY THINGS? DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SENSE OF RESPONSIBILTY OR GUILT?
maybe i'm overreacting, but no one, and i mean NO ONE has ever asked pakcik to do any personal duties for them, because we appreciate all the hard work he has done for us so far. bless his kind soul. :)
that effing family has 3 ABLE-BODIED PEOPLE to carry that fucking grill: the pompous wife, the even more stuck-up husband and the dumb maid.
the list of things can go on, but in short, here's how they go about their plot to the terrorise the neighhbours:
1) turn on their television/music full blast AND leave their door and front gate open (for what reason, only the devil will know).
2) reverse out of their carpark so recklessly that you think they're about to crush your vehicle (or at least, help you lose your driver's door) to a pulp, if not for their lucky precision-turning skills.
3) slam their door and gate shut EVERY SINGLE TIME they get home (mind you, we have a very "echo-ey" stair well and that slam travels up very effeciently).
4) litter the stairs with empty drink cans and food wrappers. how do we know it's them? because her maid is so bloody free that she can sit there and chit chat with other maids and they can have a mini-party just staring at you walking up. plus, the litter is mainly near our carpark lot (i think they already have a "thing" against us. i say BRING IT, BITCH!).
5) the fact that they're in the wrong, and yet whenever we try to tell them to turn down the music/television, they start saying the "F" word like it's the most beautiful word in the world.
one thing that personally bugs ME, is that the wife is a housewife. and yet, she has the maid take her baby out for a stroll every morning and afternoon, while she sits at home blasting on the television/music on (yes, door and gate open) and yakking on the phone over all the din (how do i know this? i walk past her unit on my way out, more than once, and it's happened more times that i can count!) it's YOUR kid for God's sake! get off your ass and take the walk YOURSELF! i see the kid with maid, all the bloody time. where's the mother? out. where's the mother? on the phone. where's the mother? definitely not where she should be, doing what she should do!
i'm no mother. but i think we all know how much time a mother needs to spend with her baby.
i heard that some people complained against ANOTHER neighbour, an australian family this time, with 2 dogs. people felt that they could not control their dogs well enough because they were hysterically barking ther heads off when neither owner was at home. so what did the people do?
send a notice of EVICTION.
mind you, this australian family also just moved in. and i assume the dogs needed to get used to a new environment, because now, they're so quiet. yes, they're still here. i think after talking to higher authority, they got a 2nd chance. i think this is ridiculous. you send a notice of eviction to people who innocently have 2 dogs, who can't help but feel alien in a new environment. so, of course, they bark. they're only ANIMALS. they don't know what the HELL is going on.
this jack-ass of a family below us, though, are homosapiens, with (what i hope!) brains. and yet they continue to lash out their uncivilised behaviour, not so much on other neighbours, but now, particularly on US. because, the filipino lady said that we're a whole family of complaints.
hmm, i WONDER WHY???! the only reason other people haven't said anything is because they choose to be ignorant. or either they actually enjoy the racket that's bursting out of the walls of the house.
either way, the one question i asked my mom and dad at dinner last night was, "is there any way we could EVICT THEM?" Tuesday, January 23, 2007
wee hours
i wonder why they call it "wee hours" of the night. there's nothing go "wee!" about.
and tonight, i feel that way. it's only when you're stuck at half past 2 in the morning, with a bloody essay to do, and there's no one to accompany you, not even msn buddies, and some good, mellow stuff from the dandy warhols (ironically called "sleep") is playing, do you realise (sometimes), how lonely you really are.
i just had a blow up with the boy about 4 hours ago over the phone, and i hung up on him. even though i promised him i'd never do that again. then i switched off the cell phone and disengaged the home phone.
slowly, loneliness creeped in to replace anger, confusion and desperation.
i should have finished my work by now. but noooooo. i just HAVE to think about him. and for what?
i already sent him a recording of an apology of almost 3 minutes via mms. now i'll just have to wait till dawn breaks upon us.
it's so tiring. ALL OF THIS.
i don't want any of it. take it away.
please.
sometimes i'm stupid enough to think that You will miraculously surprise me and come over beneath my window. then neither of Us will be lonely for the night. Sunday, January 21, 2007
apocalypto
i went to catch mel gibson's 'apocalypto' with my boy yesterday, and the first thing that hit my ears when the movie ended was, "fucking movie. fucking fucked up movie".
i know i shouldn't feel insulted, but i was really so upset with how these 2 guys behind us have no appreciation for culture, other than our concrete jungle, singa-BORE.
apocalypto felt like watching a full-length national geographic documentary which lasted 2 hours and 20 minutes. but not one minute was a bore (or maybe i'm biased because i like watching those kind of shows on cable TV).
the point is, mel gibson has a keen eye for detail, and it really shows in the cinematography. also, there's many aspects of the movie that will appeal to the general audience. although, it's rated M(18), it still holds elements of human emotion, bloodshed (for the guys) and love. it traces the roots of human civilisation and we really can see how far we've come.
i'll admit hands down, i did cry. but only because it was just so touching and the feelings that the characters portrayed were as raw as the tapir meat they hunted for in the first scene.
i went in not knowing a single thing about the storyline, and only because my boy wanted to see it after being impressed with 'passion of the christ'. and i'm glad went along.
a must-see in my books. :) Friday, January 19, 2007
wendy cheng
well, well, since wendy cheng (aka xiaxue) makes blogging her living, i shall be one to blog about her.
honestly, before Girls Out Loud, i didn't know she existed (yes, i live in a shell, so shoot me). but i'm not here to diss her or bitch about how she's actually so ugly or just a plain slut screaming for attention.
i say "aye!".
yes, i say, if you're good at something, why not make it your livelihood?
how many of us are fucking lucky enough to have a career like hers? (if it's even CALLED a career :-P) i envy her, yes definitely.
boy, what i would do to just tell people of my life and my opinions, and they'd actually listen to me. sigh.
so i visited her blog (xiaxue.blogspot.com) and read some of her more interesting posts. she is one funny girl. and yes, she does entertain you. i like her honesty, and worldly opinions on issues. yes, although she lives in a pink room, she HAS opinions. smart girl. :D
she's the kind of girlfriend who you'd have tons of fun with (as i can only imagine), and she's bold enough to have her nose done on prime time television. bravo, little lady. ^_^
all in all, i think it's awesome that a girl like her on this little, tiny forsaken island has taken up a job that retirees would only think of doing - and she's only 22.
*jealousssssss*!!! >.<
but a good job nonetheless.
P.S.
click here to read the entry on Yangtze cinema. HILARIOUS. Wednesday, January 17, 2007
farewell
UPDATE: i've changed the song on my player to the The Perishers - "Nothing Like You And I".
on another note, i can't believe The O.C. is coming to a close. :( last episode EVER is on the 22nd of february, just a day before my birthday. boo-hoo.
if not for the ever-so-kind girl all the way on the other side of the world, who uploads the 4th season of The O.C. on YouTube so religiously, i think i'd die just waiting for mediacorp to show it.
can't believe we're so lagging. >.<
but i must say, the show really opened me up to some pretty good bands, and they're not mainstream either, so they get much-deserved recognition just as soundtrack. me, being The O.C. fan that i am, have bought all 5 mixes of their soundtracks, and i'm waiting with bated breath for the 6th to arrive here!
their sound is laid-back, nostalgic and definitely the kind of music you'd love to chill to on the beach, with the wind in your ears and sun kissing you skin. :D pretty uplifting, to me at least.
this may be a spoiler, but it's been long out, so i won't have any early warning. it's a pity that they killed marissa off in the 3rd season. i mean, if they had a hint that they were going to axe the entire show by the 16th episode of season 4, marissa might as well have stayed on till then. she's such a major role that The O.C. is pretty empty without her. there's still drama and all, but not the way marissa brought it. she really brought raw emotion to the set. oh well.
i better end off here before i ramble further. i don't feel like going for psychology class later. such a bore.
hmph. Tuesday, January 16, 2007
utterly lazy
i know i'm supposed to be starting on my work. like hello, i have a stupid essay on marijuana due next wedenesday, and a brain test 2 days after. PLUS, my exams are coming up on the 8th of february. still nothing done.
but i blame the bad weather. it just drains every ounce of motivation from me (not that i had much to begin with, so that SO doesn't help).
since i'm bored, i'll just leave a link here that it'd be great if you guys (who use iTunes) could visit: http://www.ilike.com/welcome?invite=dSrIb6meQIs6ADpRcyVB_g
check out this cool music thing i signed up for. it helps you find music with friends using a plugin for iTunes. try it, it's pretty easy. :) through this pug-in, you can see which songs your friends have and sometimes you can download the free mp3s. i think it's a pretty good alternative to that damn illegal slam on P2P filesharing.
back to my boredom, all i can think of is You. youyouyouyouyou. YOU.
shit. come on wani. quit dreaming. Saturday, January 13, 2007
pan's labyrinth
for a very fresh take on fairytale's, pan's labyrinth is really a good change from all the hype and saturation of hollywood.
"a fairytale for adults" is what it's been hailed.
and i can't agree more.
i went in expecting a pretty decent film, since i didn't know at that point of time how good it really is. and boy, did it surprise me.
the first scene already depeicts a typical fairytale start where they tell of a story of a princess, who lived long, long ago in an underworld kingdom, who escaped from her keepers to seek out the sun and feel the earth. once above, she lost all memory of who she was and disintegrated. the king, saddened, still held hope that one day, the soul of his precious daughter would return, in another time, another entity.
and he would wait for her return, till his last breath.
i felt like a small girl again. the story of Ofelia, a spanish girl, really manages to bring out the innocence and naivety that is of a child. alongside the storyline of Ofelia's adventures, runs the plot of her stepfather, Captain Vidal. the adult in all of us will be able to analyse his character and agree with his ruling or spite it with all rationality.
the creatures that Ofelia encounters intruigued me. and the only downside i immediately noticed was, "how is a girl of her age and naivety, be able to be bold and unafraid of these mythical creatures that exist in the dark and eerie labryinth?" i for one, know i would shit in my undies.
there's not much to complain about this fantasy film. but then again, that's all up to interpretation. my boy, for example, found it "okay".
watch it for yourself. you just might be surprised. :)
*note: for an excellent review of the fim, click here. it sums up what i've said, and what i wish my half-ass english capabilities could express. bravo!
Thursday, January 11, 2007lynnette, you're so right
after seeing this on lynnette's blog, i HAD to pick it up and say someting about it. guys think stuff like this is just for Hollywood. well, Hollywood exaggerates it.
a real relationship thrives on it.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007advice: acknowledge
sometimes we girls get emotional. okay, fine. MOST of the time, we get emotional. and in the midst of all that "emotional high tide", we tend to spill mushy stuff that maybe guys are not extremely well-equipped in handling. so you guys say the most dumbest lines like, "uh, sorry". or if we girls let you know that we miss spending time with you, the usual response is commonly, "well, i'm trying best okay", and it's not in a very understanding and patient kind of tone.
what i'm trying to say is, sometimes we tell you how we feel about something because we want you to ACKNOWLEDGE. REACT.
we don't always open our mouths JUST to complain okay?
i'm not saying we seek empathy or sympathy or that we're pathetically plain petty.
we tell you these things, because we feel a certain way about something and we hope you somewhat realise that it's a concern or at least CARE that WE are concerned about it. if we care about something that involves the relationship, and you don't, what's the BLOODY point in being in a relationship that's meant to be reciprocated? (hey, at least one of us cares enough to notice)
it's simple. ACKNOWLEDGE. know that we are feeling that way. reassure us. no need for mushy stuff, we understand that boys will be boys. but we need to know that when we feel a little lost, there's always you to turn to.
isn't that what trust is partly about? Tuesday, January 09, 2007
my funny funny boy
besides me, my dear boy had the chance to try on my new Oakley Script sunnies that i got for Christmas. woo-hoo!
oh.my.gosh. that's HOT.
Friday, January 05, 2007when you think you know, that's when you miss something out
you think as time goes by, you and your partner would grow to love each other more. and learn and respect and compromise.
but that's not always the case.
sometimes love isn't everything. in fact, it's a small part of something huge.
relationships fail, not because of loss of love (ever noticed that?).
it's because of issues. of personality. of attitude.
so the next time your partner says "i love you", it's not about HOW they feel about you; it's WHY they feel that way about you.
and that IS, at times, much more harder to conceive. Thursday, January 04, 2007
will You ever?
i would just melt, right into Your arms.
advice
GUYS, you know those oh-so-typical romantic movies where the girl gets frustrated with the guy and storms off (sometimes in the rain, other times into the sunset)? and the guy idiotically stands there looking for 2 seconds, before he runs after her (into the rain or sunset) and grabs her hand? then depending on what he did wrong, how badly he sinned, or even when he did nothing wrong but doesn't want to let her go, he apologises profusely and tells her how much she means to him?
bottomline: as sappy and mushy and overly CHILDISH it may look and sound on-screen, girls want that! there's a reason why it's called a "ROMANTIC FILM".
when a girl walks off and tells you to leave her alone, she wants you to follow her.
when a girl tells you she never wants to talk to you again, she really wants you to look for her. (unless of course, you seriously screwed up BIG time)
it is pretty easy to please a girl, let me tell you. one word: effort.
once a girl sees you going out of your way for her, when she sees you putting in effort to make her feel wanted, loved and appreciated, she's as good as yours. (exception for hard-core girls who really are true bitches. then, sorry, can't help you there. you're on your own buddy)
that's my two-cents worth of advice. and i think most girls would agree with me. :) Monday, January 01, 2007
happy 2007
well, it's the first time in ages that i got to wake up at 12 p.m., without any fuss from the parents.
and it was the very first time i spent new year's eve with my boy. the evening started off wonderfully with dinner at simple Lau Pa Sat. though it doesn't sound glamorous, given it WAS new year's eve, i didn't mind one bit. i wasn't very hungry anyway. :)
then we went over to momo to meet up with his friends. it was still early, so we just went in to get our wrists stamped, plus one game of pool, then headed to 7-11 to buy some booze.
for the next 1 hour or so, we just hung out drinking and talking and waiting for more guys to come. okay, i was super bored, i admit. but i just shrugged it off, given my boy doesn't see his friends often.
about 11.40 p.m., we headed back to momo and tried to find a spot to hang out in a group. finally, we found a small little corner by the back exit, but it was pretty okay, considering we didn't need that much space. we got more drinks and "danced" around till the countdown.
at the stroke of 12, that kiss landed perfectly on my lips.
and i didn't want to let go.
after that, we attempted to dance some more (given the DJ played "undanceable" music, like Eminem >.<), but i had to leave at 12.45 a.m. (due to my curfew at 1.30 a.m. BOOOOO!!!!!). anyway, the smoke was making my eyes really dry, till the point of painful, and the music was really bad.
i got home on time and perfectly sober, thank you very much. :D
new year's eve, overall, was unforgettable.
place (momo) wasn't great.
company (his friends) was very average.
but one person made all the difference - YOU.
thank you beau for taking time off for me.
if only it wasn't a very cinderella ending, and i could forget about time.
