pinch
too much complaining and slacking equates to a fail grade in psychology.
and it's not even a complex level yet; for Ford's sake, it's a level ONE module.
and eric has distinctions and higher distinctions that befall him like running water.
how the hell did he get so smart?
now i just want to hide in my room and not talk to anyone.
i'm soooo embarrassed. :(
and feeling so fucking useless and stupid. Tuesday, November 28, 2006
unworthy
he knew she was going to leave soon.
but he never put in the time.
guess some things aren't worth the sacrifice.
though it may mean the world to someone else. Friday, November 24, 2006
total comfort
don't you love it when, after you've been hurt so bad, he embraces you so lovingly and you release all the tension by sobbing into his chest?
or when your tears fall silently, and you stare back at him, then he lifts both his hands to your face and cups it, to wipe your tears away?
the warmth of his lips landing on your forehead is only the beginning.
and i never want the end to come.
so weird
"i'm sorry for all the mindless tantrums and unreasonable outbursts. wonder how i always manage to do it, flare up for no reason..." - lynnette
i so know how it feels like.
uncontrollable.
guilty.
yet, so addictive.
crazy women, we are.
i have been so uncontrollably acting like a spoilt kid who wants what she wants and will settle for no less. and it annoys the shit out of him.
*scratches head*. i wonder why?
unless it's an extreme symptom of menstrual emotional outbursts.
that almost sounds ridiculously funny.
but it happens.
and i just want to say, i'm sorry.
sigh. Tuesday, November 21, 2006
how?
how can 1 kiss fix a sore heart, a lump in the throat?
a gaze or stare melt every bone that was stiff.
a brush of skin.
a subtle purse of the lips.
when i wanted You gone, You came back.
i must've done something so right, to erase all the wrongs i did to You.
before i met You, You were a boy, a guy.
when i met You, something would change forever:
You became someone i loved.
and it will never change back. Sunday, November 19, 2006
he said he's done
boy: "i'm done arguing with You."
what was i supposed to say?
a tear nearly fell.
but didn't.
girl (to herself): "i'm done."
slice
"what if all this talk of marriage only results in me rejecting You when that day comes. and when You get down on one knee and ask, i tell You 'i thought it was just talk. i never really meant it.' ?"
"then i'd ask WHY?"
"what if i say i'm just not ready, though i love You so much?"
"then i'd leave You."
"well, i am disappointed because You know what i would say if You were to ask me the same thing?"
"what?"
"i'd wait for You."
"NO ONE TOLD YOU TO."
i'll never forget what You said. the words that haunt me. Friday, November 17, 2006
it feels like weeks
when it's only been a week and a half (i think?). it seems as though many weeks have passed since i last blogged. and part is due to laziness. and another is partly due to the fact that i've already spent so much time in front of the screen during school semester, and i want to avoid looking at it for now.
but i can tell you, i have been busy. whether it's plain slacking away or going out, i've managed to proudly do some things which have been long overdue.
like cleaning my room.
cleaning out my closet.
cleaning the piles and stacks of papers and textbooks on my table (hallelujah, i can finally see what my desk looks like).
going shopping.
spending quality time with my baby, and friends i havne't spent time with, in some time.
time to myself just relaxing and playing mindless computer games.
and in december, i can't wait to go to PHUKET.
and have my brothers come down here for almost a MONTH.
what FUN!!! :D
christmas is going to be awesome this year, i hope.
and i've proudly managed to save enough money to splurge for christmas as well (pat on the back for me). :)
in the mean time, do visit my multiply site.
i have new photos that we took from visiting the motorshow at suntec and rounding our day off at fullerton's chocolate buffet.
can you believe that we actually suffered from a slight hangover the day after?
i don't need booze to make me tipsy. stuff me with chocolates and i'll be rendered USELESS.
thanks for making the day great, guys.
our double dates are always awesome. ^_^ Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Mr. Tryna-B-Cool
The haze at VivoCity ruined our shot. But luckily we don't look too stupid. :) (by the way, this post is done via my handphone. told you i loved my new cell, didn't i? hee.)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006i wonder why
so we got pulled over by TP this afternoon on PIE (towards Changi).
i'm afraid to admit, but i was a wee bit nervous (shh, don't tell!). though it wasn't me riding NOR was it my bike.
seems that mr. policeman was trying to check our speed from behind, but couldn't. so he asked my boy what speed he was going at. "90 +".
"don't lie to me." "okay, 100 - 110."
then he did an inspection of the bike, to see if any parts were illegally modified.
thank God the pipe was fine. but he got let off with a warning about his mud guard, rear signal lights, front number plate and headlights (obviously, the BULB has to be of a certain colour, although it reflects the accepted colour. -_-)
so that got me wondering, out of all vehicles on the expressway, why our bike? i mean, all the other cars and trucks and what-nots were going at the same pace we were. it's not like we were weaving through the traffic carelessly.
my conclusion: mr. policeman has not had his itch to fine someone, scratched today.
and since fines on illegal bike pipes fetched up to $700, he thought he'd try his luck.
as i sat by the side, and watched my boy handle the situation, i smiled to myself.
he looked so calm and friendly. he even stole cheeky smiles to me in between.
i admire his composure. because if it were me, i'd be so frazzled that i would look guilty even without opening my mouth! i'm a wreck when faced with situations that are foreign to me.
i love my baby so much. :) Monday, November 06, 2006
miss, missing, misses
i miss You.
i am missing You.
wani misses You.
all this, even though i have already missed You.
i wish i had a little reassurance before my last paper. but i guess i have to understand. :(
remember that talk we had at the esplanade before we parted ways?
i loved that talk.
it was so comforting and it gave me such a fuzzy feeling.
i want that again. it's so lonely.
and i'm missing You so badly. awfully badly. Sunday, November 05, 2006
bittersweet
you're a flirt.
and although we love it,
it hurts. though i know it shouldn't.
he was right. and i know we settled things between us, i can't help still feeling so...
SORE.
sigh. i'll never know why:
why it happened, and why this is happening. Thursday, November 02, 2006
our 'heaven'
our heaven is arguing.
it's getting on each other's nerves.
it's seeing who can make the other cry (or at least tear their hair out) first.
it's about seeing who can raise their voice the loudest.
it's about who can come up with the best threat and hurt who the most.
most of all, it's all about giving up eventually and admitting you're wrong. when you're not.
our love is so pure, there's no complications about it. just fight it out, and that's wani and yasin for you. simple concoction.
your perfect couple in their little heaven. Wednesday, November 01, 2006
she'll never know (neither will he)
it's been so long since i've cried for her.
the last time was when i was only 13.
and i was ridiculed for it.
poor girl. i feel so sad for her.
she doesn't deserve it. she did nothing wrong.
i just feel so empty and barren inside.
only tears can express how i feel.
for her. and myself.
we don't deserve it.
no one shall ever know how i feel.
and it's bad enough i have my own darkness to deal with.
yet You don't know.
and it's better that way.
