I am the secret that you keep; MISS SCARLET.

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Sunday, February 15, 2004

A new life... somehow

it's over. yup, he broke it off with me on the 13th. Friday the 13th. the day before St. Valentine's. jeez. -_- but i don't know why i didn't manage to breakdown and cry when he told me over MSN Messenger. but i feel the loneliness and emptiness catching up with me now. i miss him like Hell. although we promised no grudges and he'll love so much as a friend. he told me that he stopped loving me for some time already. that REALLY threw me off guard. though i kept telling myself that. i didn't actually WANT it to be true.

i'm coping. i brokedown in my room on St. Valentine's morning. before i headed down to breakfast to got to school. but he gave me a gift. it was a water flask. rainbow striped. just like my literature notebook. i LOVE it. just like i Love him. i do. i still do. very much so. i'll just have to do it from afar. so... we lasted 4 mths and 4 days. jeez, i actually counted. he said our relationship brought about the awkwardness. i think it's just the fact that he prioritises his reputation before anything else. if that makes him happy, i guess i can't change that. he's damn stubborn. but that don't change the way i feel about him.

i miss every happy moment we had. especially the times he fed me in the dark cinema. he grabbed my hand the very first time. when he asked me to close my eyes and brought my hand up to feel his stubble. and i chuckled in glee. like a small girl getting candy. when he held me close under the tiny umbrella in the rain. when i lay my head on his shoulder to rest, and he laid his head on mine. i miss him. i miss him. i miss him. even though i see him at least 5 times a week. most importantly, i STILL love him.