The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Friday, April 16, 2004
no friends, only myself to comfort and smile to
i know that sounds real pathetic, lame, childish and almost retarded. but it's true. no matter how mature we may seem to other people, i think all of us have an insecure kid that needs reassuring. some have it more obvious, and others have it more subtle. but everybody has that kid inside them. those who claim they don't, are in great denial. i deny too, to people's faces, but not to myself. i hate lying to myself. that's like stripping away your own self respect, and you're no longer a person; a human worthy of a morsel of dignity.
why am in this state of mind, especially for my previous blog and this one? because this is what's going on in my life now. are best friends forever? not always. i think after some time, best friends can get bored of each other... and when new friends enter their lives, it seems like a new exciting friendship and the old one sours and eventually dies.
let's just say, in a non-selfish and non-self-centered manner, i wish my best friend could take more notice of me. she's SO happy, and i'm glad that she is. seriously. but we don't get to spend any time with each other, i mean quality time. we see each other every day and we never get any solid time with each other. there's this other good friend of ours, so that makes us a trio. my best friend always lights up when she sees this good friend of ours, but when she sees me, it's like "Hey... ya.. umm..." you might say i'm jealous. maybe i am. whenever we are heading somewhere, my best friend would ask along this good friend of ours. i just tag along; or don't if i feel like it's pointless.
i don't hate this good friend of ours for taking away my best friend from me or anything because even i dig her... she's a real, cool nice gal. i just miss the old friend that could make me smile, not worry.
the best friend that could make me laugh, not frown. make me feel appreciated, not dejected. make me want to pour out what's on my mind, not surpressed. make me feel wanted, not lonely. that's what i feel now. LONELY. this makes me appreciate my lil' sis even more... i love her SOOO much.
in all my life, this is the first time i look forward to going home and talking to them, spending time with my sis. i hope my best friend changes back to her old self. i miss her so much, it's like that part of her has died. and there's no way to ressurect her. she's dead.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.
