The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Friday, October 29, 2004
out of all times...
i know i've been waiting out, and i want to wait out as long as possible. but things in Life always manage to fuck up (don't we all know that?). this is in context of my previous entry. well, that guy is totally throwing me off balance. i have to sit through shitty A's next week onwards, and i can't believe he has to put me through even more shit. i remember the frustrations that anyone can get from guys, and now i finally remember why i had decided to stay away from any emotional connection from them, like the PLAGUE! they're sheer heartache.
i put my heart out, i explicitly tell him that i'm interested in getting to know him. and what do i fucking get in return? cold conversations, lame excuses and petty sorries when he suddenly has to leave a chat. which is like, hmm, ALL the TIME. he says i'm busy, so i may be. but i make time to at least have a conversation with him at night. he says he's bored that's why he's quiet. helloooo?? if you're bored, then who is this freaking idiot here who's putting aside time to talk to you?! i try to make jokes, be it lame or not, but then he turns them into situations where i look like the damn fool. i don't this extra shit from him. if you're still unsure whether you even want to be decent, CIVILISED friends with me, then back off, and come back when you're ready.
what more, is creepily enough, more of my past is catching up with me. my very first bf called me up a few nights ago, and casually asked me what's going on and stuff. then i sensed he had a motive for calling me up from nowhere. i asked him, and BINGO, he broke up with his gf the night before. so, blah, blah, blah... i asked what happened. and obviously, he told her about us, like the past he had with me. and i have no idea how he told HIS version of the story, but she came to the conclusion that he's been dating her to get over me (would anyone date someone for 2 years to forget someone?... i have no clue really). so, i got the hint. and blah, blah, blah... end of phone call. the next night, he SMSed me, "would you give me another chance to treat you good like you did to me if i asked you in future?". all i replied was, "it depends how far into the future you ask me." i didn't really mean it though. i went through another shit with this fella. we broke up and patched up like countless times, he left me for different reasons each time: one for another bitch, one due to influence of another bitch... many in between, and finally, the last break up, i remember crystal clear, the day before Hari Raya (i swear i hate him for that), due to my race and religion. WTF. so ya, you think i'd be stupid enough to come bouncing back to him after that?
anyways, shit is on it's way. and i have a load of shit to carry along. so things are pretty much the same, eh?
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.
