I am the secret that you keep; MISS SCARLET.

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Saturday, November 20, 2004

it's always a wonder

it's always a wonder how when you realise that you just passed a place, eaten a food, sipped a drink or even uttered something that vaguely reminds you of something or someone who used to be a part of your life, you suddenly stop in your tracks and feel awkward and have this queasy feeling in your stomach. well, at least if the memory of that person or thing is bad, or just not very pleasant to remember. a very good example would be when i was eating dinner last night. we had spaghetti with this green herbal source (it's not THAT disgusting as it sounds; in fact, i LOVED it! ^_^) i kind of had an idea what the sauce was called, but i just couldn't remember. then i asked my mom what it was, and she said it was pesto sauce. my mind went blank, and i just said,"Oooo... okay." suddenly, dinner wasn't so appetising, although i was famished. out of a sudden, i actually felt a lump in my throat and had a queasy stomach upset. but i continued eating, out of politeness. i knew why i felt this way: spaghetti with pesto sauce was my date's favourite italian dish. i remembered how he excitedly told me about that one, haha.

i know a person being reminded of memories that they'd rather forget makes them nostalgic or even stoned for awhile. but i didn't really think one could lose their appetite because of it. that was a VERY weird feeling. it felt as though the food was suddenly poisoned or contaminated with who-knows-what-shit.

oh well, so far my freakin' A levels haven't been very kind to me. instead of explaining Malthus' Theory for my human geography paper yesterday, i explained Butler's theory. sorry to you guys who don't know what i'm really talking about. the point is, that was worth a whole chunk of 9 marks. damnit. guess i can kiss good bye to NUS. or any university for that matter. i can almost foresee my result slip with big Os and Es... nothing more than a D if a miracle happens. we'll see if my gut feeling is right in about 4 months time.

in the mean time, i'm going to take it slow. take it tough. and grit my teeth for one more week.