I am the secret that you keep; MISS SCARLET.

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

very much dazed and stoned...

oh well, i did promise you guys that i would finish the story i started in my previous entry. or did i?... hmm, either way i think i should. so, to end off everything, my Epitomy of Mystery called me up and forced me to tell him what i told his girlfriend (she called back and confessed to me you see. then i had to tell her the whole story from Day 1 how we met and how everything ended between us until now. it seems she's been with him for 7 months. i made a remark that, that was unusually long for him to be attached to one girl, and even she knew this. heh, well, she MUST be one special girl). i've never heard him so friggin' pissed off before... i was almost scared he was going to threaten me. but i had to keep calm and assertive myself. i insisted i didn't need to tell him what i said because he bloody well knew what i told her, but he kept on insisting and shouting at me. so i blurted out whatever i told the poor girl. then these were his final words,"FINE! I WILL NEVER KEEP IN CONTACT WITH YOU EVER AGAIN OKAY?!"... the phone went dead. i didn't even get to reason out with him, or say anything for that matter. then i sat there staring at the phone, and cried. i thought what i did was right; he had to be put in his place. in the end, i lost a friend, and my date never called back. EVER. i never intended to hurt anyone, especially that poor innocent girl... a total stranger to me. in the end, the person who saw the misery in this was Me.

but i've picked up whatever was left of that night, and had to go on like nothing had happened. an old classmate of mine comforted me in saying that,"You know that if it was really meant to be between you two, it will work out somehow. And if he really likes you, he would do anything to be with you." i guess he's right. he IS right. that's why i'm not waiting around anymore. i think i'd rather be single and care-free than be tied down to someone who doesn't return my affections. BUT he was someone i wanted to get to know for 5 years. all that waiting for nothing. all those secret crushes wasted. on Him. oh well, it's not the first time Fate has once again NOT served up to my appetite.

yesterday was a bad day for mugging. i studied for 5 hours straight and by that time i had a splitting headache, my eyes were all watery and i felt naseous. to make things worse, i had the chance to sleep considerably early (i mean turning in at 12 rather than the usual 2.30 or so IS early), but i couldn't. i think i had FAR too many things on my mind. then i thought of warm arms embracing me and sweet voices hushing me to sleep... my Angel. i managed to doze off at 1.45 a.m. today is a better day, i should think at least. i'm taking it easy... well, of course, since i'm here typing all this out. i'm counting down till the 25th November.

please, please, please come quickly. not that i'm prepared, but i want to get over you. You friggin' freakin' A-Levels!!!