The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
how one's momentous feeling can crumble and shatter right in your face
just 5 minutes ago, i felt like giving a pretty thorough review of my trip to Perth. now i just feel like wallowing in self-pity. oh, woe is me.
my mom just barged into my room, calling me not by name, but the commonly rude "Eh! Girl!". then she bombarded me with what every person dreads hearing, "I see ah, you putting on weight. can you please... go and do something can or not? don't always slack around... do something for yourself lah! before you know it, you cannot walk i tell you!" i knew a LONG LONG LONG time ago i was on the heavier side, slightly. but i wasn't HIPPO-WALRUS-SUMO FAT OK?? she even mentioned that she does exercise for the benefit of looking good for my dad. so, what's that supposed to mean? if i get obese, overweight and frumpy... i'll never marry. that's not half bad an idea. considering how unlucky i am in THAT department.
did she even notice that immediately after my A-levels, i helped her out like shit with her bazaar? then IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT, we went to Perth. then IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT, we just came back.. and here i am... merely 2 days after returning??? did she notice i haven't had ANY FUCKING TIME TO MYSELF??? can she just bloody wait??? so what if want to grow fat, laze out, pig out and just rot (according to her, i plan to rot my body and mind away)??! even when i EVER went out, i had to pick days carefully and schedule those days around HER. and that was only THRICE since my exams ended. there's only less than 10 days left of 2004. i just want to watch the days pass by. is that too much to ask? i want to pretend, just for these last days of 2004, that i have nothing to worry about until next year. is that a SIN?
*i am SO SORRY to those who are reading this entry, that i come in here and just blow my top. but i can't take it. she's breathing down my neck like a permanent sauna under my skin; everything's so heated, so tense. wish i could say more cheery offerings. but i'll just post a few pictures from my trip to try and ease things out. most of all, i miss my best friend, i miss laughing with friends... i miss not being alone.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.