The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Thursday, March 17, 2005
FUCKED.UP.ME.
it's been so fucking hot these days, that i'm beginning to have a rash. and it's spreading. like little red dots, all inflammed and itchy. blotchy. all over my legs. i'm so fucked up.
***
i went to Segamat, Johor today instead of spending quality time with my dearies at Sentosa. thanks to my mom using her "ever-so-useful" emotional blackmail technique. oh well. might as well make the best of it. it was an eye-opening experience. i went to visit a relative (my grandma's brother to be exact) who is very ill and could possibly be dying. i hate to say that. he has a swollen neck and a tumour-like growth on the left side of his neck. it's more than scary. i thought that was all it was to it. but he's lost his memory too, and talks gibberish. when i first saw him in that state, i almost cried. i almost couldn't bare to look at him. i didn't think something like that would affect me so much. i almost wanted to run out of the house. not of fear, not because of denial; just because i couldn't imagine how much he has changed since the last time i saw him.
i remember him as a talkative, smiley, pretty jovial man... only last year. now, he's... i don't even know what's the word to use. i know now that some people can just leave us, be it by Death, by separation, by decision, by circumstance... for no reason at all. I'M SCARED.
***
emotionally: i am torn, ripped, scattered. ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. mentally: i am pressured, throttled, stifled. FUCKED UP. physically: hot, bothered, itchy. FUCKING IRRITATED. OVERALL: A FUCKED UP, AGITATED BITCH YOU'D BETTER STAY AWAY FROM.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.