The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Sunday, July 10, 2005
ONE HELL OF A FUCKED UP BITCH WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTIME I TRY TO REDEEM MYSELF OR PROVE MYSELF, THINGS ALWAYS TURN OUT WORSE THAN BEFORE? AM I THAT MUCH OF A JINX? AM I SO UNLUCKY THAT I HAVE TO ALWAYS BE CURSED IN EVERY OUTCOME THAT LIES AHEAD?
MAYBE I DO DESERVE THE BELITTLEMENTS, THE INSULTS AND EVEN THE DEGRADE-MENT. MAYBE I AM ONE SUCH PERSON WORTHY OF ALL THAT. I HAVE NEVER ASKED FOR MUCH, THAT'S TRUE. BUT MAYBE BECAUSE I DON'T DESERVE MUCH TO BEGIN WITH. HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE THAT? I HOPE NOT. BECAUSE THAT'S THE WORST FEELING ANYONE COULD FEEL, BESIDES BEING ALONE. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT FEELING IS DERIVED FROM YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD.
I'VE TOLERATED IT FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE EONS. BUT I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL SO SHAKY, SO INSECURE, SO MUCH MORE ALONE. I TELL EVERYONE I'M OKAY. BUT I'M NOT OKAY - I CAN PROMISE YOU THAT. BECAUSE I HATE TO SEE EVERYONE ASK ME WHAT'S WRONG, THEN I'M SUPPOSED TO GO INTO THE MELODRAMATIC DETAILS OF IT ALL... AND EXPECT SYMPATHY, EMPATHY, PITY... WHATEVER IT IS. I DON'T WISH THAT UPON ANYONE. I'LL JUST DEAL WITH IT BY MYSELF. LIKE I ALWAYS HAVE. I'LL BE FINE. EVERYTHING JUST TAKES TIME. I TELL MYSELF THAT EVERYDAY. BUT THAT DAY HASN'T ARRIVED. MAYBE IT WILL NEVER COME.
I'M RANTING. I'M BABBLING. I'M PATHETIC. SO SHOOT ME.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.