I am the secret that you keep; MISS SCARLET.

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

advice: acknowledge (part 2)

another form of acknowledgement can come from soothing a broken or wounded heart. knowing someone is in pain, or in emotional turmoil, is more comforting for the person hurting than you know.

this doesn't just apply to relationships involving couples, but friends, siblings and family as well.

in this case, i've just been burned by someone i love most dearly (no prizes for guessing who). and he's going to be MIA (sort of) pretty soon, due to reservist. i say, "i miss you". and he's nonchalant about it. the kind of attitude that smells and reeks of, "uh... so?"

i feel like screaming and tearing my hair out. and bashing my head against the wall. oh so tempting. his lazy response of an "i miss you too" does no justice to how i feel. and it kills me from within. we argued on and on for a good 40 minutes, before i gave him an ultimatum:

"fine. just say goodnight now, and don't expect me to be nice to You at all for the next few days. or maybe till You come back."

at first he resisted. he tried to salvage whatever "nice-ness" there was left between us, with MORE arguing. then i tested him: "just say goodnight".

"goodnight". click.

the tears came fast. but they were gone fast too.

moral of the story?
if someone's hurting for whatever reason, don't get judgemental. and don't defend yourself. allow yourself to be vulnerable, because that person is feeling far more vulnerable than you. calm and soothe that person. listen. acknowledge. don't hurry it. patience.

but in my case, since he went with the ultimatum, he asked for it.
no more miss nice. no more giving in.

this time it's for real.