I am the secret that you keep; MISS SCARLET.

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Friday, August 24, 2007

600th

this is the 600th post, and only 400 more to a thousand. sigh.
unfortunately, it's not one of cheer or joy. but more of acceptance and revelation.

if there's one thing being in this (almost) 2 and a half years relationship has taught me, is selflessness. before this, i always had the attitude of naivety and perhaps even immaturity towards relationships. until now.

finally i found someone far more needy than me, and it's slapped me around enough to realise that i've got to be the one in charge now. no more whining, no more expecting the person to give in to you. no more nonsense. i used to think that my relationships would always encompass BOTH of us being truly happy. but now i know the heart-wrenching reality of the truth.

one of us has to make that sacrifice. and i've more than willingly worn my heart on my sleeve only to get it crushed. relentlessly. but that's the price i have to pay to make someone happy.

i no longer bother about what arrangements You wish to make pertaining work or Your personal life, because i know i will eventually have no say. so i've learnt to accept to respect Your judgement and only hope that You know what You're doing.

for me, the most important thing is seeing You happy.
because You've made me realise that that's what Love is - seeing the fruits of your labour appear as a smile on your partner's face.
it's not about wanting things (material or otherwise) from someone.
it's about doing all that you can to make them happy.

i'd rather love and hurt all at the same time, knowing that i've made someone's day, than care about myself, knowing i'm fucking useless to everyone else.