The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Saturday, July 30, 2011
i know i shouldn't, but where else can i rant without judgement?
okay, before i even begin what i want to say (or rather type), let me just say that i may come off sounding whiny and selfish, but that's not what my intentions are. like any human being, i just want to get something off my chest and say what's on my mind. it's just to let go of some steam, really. but after that, it's back to reality.
so, i got that little disclaimer out of the way, let's begin:
in light of the recent madness and sadness in our lives (i shall not go into details), it's understandable that our relationship would naturally have to take a backseat. and i completely agree. but, i can't help asking myself, if i'm expected to be there by your side and be there in your time of need, who's there for me?
hey, don't start bickering and saying, "oh my God, she's such a bitch. how can she be so self-centred?" i may be thinking and questioning constantly, but never once have i failed in standing by his side and never once have i compained about me being sidelined.
i guess with all the craziness that has been happening, the little problems that we tried tackling and/or pretending that weren't there, start surfacing and start being amplified. and i just have to watch them grow, and learn to be ignorant.
it's pretty much come to a stage where, if i or this relationship gets completed buried under all the reality that hits us, i would have to pretend all is dandy and i can't say one shit about it. because God forbid, people will start talking smack, saying i'm one hell of a bitch and a selfish bastard.
oh well, you can't win everyone over. like i said, i've not uttered a single word of how i feel because that's the reality i have to face. but i'm only one person and i think i'm entitled to what i'm feeling/thinking. i don't know how i thought typing all this out would ease my heavy heart... because honestly, i just feel more like crap now.
there's nothing for me to really look forward to any longer, nothing to put my hopes up in because i know it'll just crumble before my very eyes. right now, i'm doing what's right, what i need to do and nothing more. i've cried on my own (not that anyone needs to know that actually), and i guess that's probably the only way for me to let go of how i'm feeling sometimes. a good cry once in awhile does wonders.
so for now, i shall be nothing more than a woman, by her man's side, regardless of how she's dealing with everything. the way it has to be.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.
