I am the secret that you keep; MISS SCARLET.

The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another

There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden

So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight

Friday, November 18, 2011

heart's never been this heavy

so we took our little breather, and we're gonna start from scratch. i just didn't bet on starting over with someone i barely recognise.

i don't know which pain is worse; the one i felt without you, or the one being with someone who looks like you but it just isn't.

sure your laugh's the same, your kisses are the same, so are the hugs. but it stops there. i can't put my finger on it, but you're definitely not the same person i fell in love with. the chemistry feels foreign and at times, awkwardness settles in.

this gut feeling i have has never been stronger, knowing there is an end to us. the tears that come from mulling about it every single day doesn't seem to end, although there have been words of comfort from a few individuals that have tried and soothe my worried mind. but it doesn't change what i already know.

and it's not just one thing that seems to creep into my sleep. the passion, the flirtation and energy that used to play off each other, is nowhere to be felt. and don't even begin on the physical or sexual relationship we used to share. it used to be one of the things that brought us closer, even through the storms we faced. it was something so private that no one could take away from us, because it helped reaffirm how we felt about possibly spending the rest of our lives together. but now, that's no longer an avenue of "communication", if you will.

rigidness, ignorance and sheer bliss from everything that plagues us, now resides in you. and i cry about it all the God. Damn. Time. WHY.

i can't continue feeling this way, and at the same time, you won't talk. so what else am i supposed to do but wait till you're ready. while i turn bitter.