The signal is subtle
We pass just close enough to touch
No questions, no answers
We know by now to say enough
With only simple words
With only subtle turns
The things we feel alone for one another
There is a secret that we keep
I won't sleep if you won't sleep
Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given
We are compelled to do what we must do
We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden
So I won't sleep if you won't sleep tonight
Saturday, April 28, 2012
my hell
you'd think some, if not all, things that occurred in your childhood, would've phased out by the time you grew up. or at least you'd learn to deal with it better.
not this. i don't think it'll ever stop, and i don't think i'll ever be able to get past it. sometimes (who am i kidding? everytime), i ask, why? why me? not that i'd ever wish this upon anyone else. no one, not one person deserves growing up this way. not especially if it lasts from the time you were barely a kid to when you're a grown-ass adult who could start their own family anytime soon.
i know writing will not ease the pain, nor will it change the circumstances in which i have to live with for the rest of my life. hell, nothing will change this. it's my life, it's my hell.
but it's one of the few things that i hope could help me keep sane. just so, my humanity will not leave my side when i need it most. i go through this so many times, year in, year out. and the pain is still so damn potent. WHY.
why can't i just switch all these feelings off? just be numb, and stay numb. i don't want to feel anything, none at all. it's not worth lying to myself about how things will get better, how i'll get through this. i mean really? if things were meant to be better, if i were supposed to get used to this, i would've by now. it's 26 fucking years of my life so far, and not a single thing has changed.
you know what, you're right. all this negativity, is much too strong. and i'm tired. for once, in a long time, i will admit defeat and surrender. none of this "have hope" crap. what hope? what strength?
it's all a lie. i'm just about done.
PUT YOUR LOVELY NAME HERE
Wani
23/02/1986 (Pisces)
(Psychology & Communications) Monash University
Chatting, chilling, poetry, movies, making love, making out.
Tigger & Princess
In love with love; cynical with a hint of tease. ;) LOVE THE WORLD AND SMILE AT THE STRANGER.